Mommy's little boy

Today I decided to try putting Brian into the Child-watch at the gym.

Beth and Amy never had any trouble being left in the daycare while I went to run on the treadmill, but Erin always screamed hysterically when I tried to leave her there. I've attempted to leave Brian in there before, but have never been successful. It's been a few months since our last trial, so today we gave it another shot.

He didn't last five minutes. As I handed him over to the staff member at the desk, he turned and reached out his arms for me. I quickly turned away, and heard his hysterical shrieks almost immediately. I stood around the corner for a couple of minutes, listening as the child-watch workers attempted in vain to distract him with the many toys available in the room. Nothing worked, however, and his cries grew even louder.

I finally went back to the desk to re-claim my little boy. He ran to the door with his arms up, and when they handed him to me, I could hear him hyperventilating as he gasped for breath between screams. His face was blotchy and red, and I spent ten minutes pacing the hallways in an attempt to calm him down.

Finally he quieted, and we sat on the benches outside the gymnastics gym, watching Amy and Erin tumbling and swinging on the bars. I smoothed his hair, and kissed his cheek.

"Didn't you want to play with all those toys, Brian?", I asked him. "They have so many fun toys in the child-watch for you".

He shook his head in an emphatic "no". He turned and patted me on the back. "Mama", he said while rubbing my back. "Mama".

And tonight, while we rocked in the recliner in his room before bed, he once again patted me on the back. "Mama", he said with his baby-smile. "Mama".

I'd dearly love to be able to leave him in the daycare for a short workout. I really would. But I know that someday soon he will venture away from me. So for now, we'll stay together and cuddle a bit while the girls are in their classes. Sometimes, it's nice to be needed. Especially by my little boy.