Conquering Fears

Erin and I spent this afternoon at a nearby playground. For most of the summer, Erin has been petrified of the slides and jungle gyms, so she clings to my legs while Beth and Amy run, climb and swing. I must confess, it's actually been quite convenient for me, because I've only had to keep track of the two older ones. But a couple of weeks ago, Erin finally ventured up the stairs of a smaller jungle gym. She tentatively sat down at the top of the slide. She sat and sat, until older kids began to get annoyed with her, so I coaxed her down the very small slide. And thus began her love of speed, heights and danger.

Now, she loves slides - the bigger the better. Today's playground had a very high, twirling slide, and I was quite worried that it was too dangerous for her to attempt. I managed to divert her attention for a bit, by pushing her on the swings, and leading her toward some smaller, more toddler-friendly slides. But eventually she noticed the bright yellow slide towering above all the rest.

"Slide, Mama! Slide" she shrieked, pointing out the apparatus. Reluctantly, I let her lead me over to the steps, and I watched nervously as she began climbing. The higher she got, the more anxious I became. Finally, she reached the top.

I was calling out cautionary advice, such as "sit down slowly, Erin!" and "hold on tight, Erin!", but she knew just what to do.

I had to smile as I watched her trying to overcome her own fears. "Help, Mama!", she yelled down fearfully, but when I walked over closer, she called out, "No, no. No help. I do."

She sat for a few minutes and thought carefully about her challenge. Then she took a deep breath, pushed off, and started flying down and around. I watched her little pink shirt whipping around the turns, and heard her giggling voice yelling "wheeee!!". When she finally emerged at the bottom of the tunnel, I realized that I had been holding my breath the entire time.

She jumped down and ran back to the steps, yelling "Again! Again!", and "I did it!!"

She was so proud of herself. And I was so proud of her, too. This growing-up process can certainly be nerve-wracking for Mom, but sometimes I guess I just need to step back a bit, and let her fly.