Special plans

We've been having quite a bit of difficulty lately with Amy's behavior. Frequent tantrums, screaming fits and outright defiance are part of our daily routine right now. We're working on discipling her, but we're also trying to figure out what could be the root cause of her issues. Is she worried about heading off to school in a few weeks? Is she concerned about the arrival of a new sibling? Is it simply that "middle child" syndrome that we hear so much about? We're not at all sure.

We think that she could be seeking attention. There's been so much focus on Beth's first day of kindergarten, Erin's upcoming birthday party, and the new baby's arrival. Maybe Amy feels overlooked. So Dan and I decided that next week, I would take her out shopping for a new school backpack, and then the two of us would go out for ice cream. We don't naively think that this will solve all her problems, but we do want her to realize how important she really is.

I eagerly presented the plan to her this morning. She sat quietly and listened, but then she got a worried look on her face.

"You want me to go out for ice cream with just you?", she asked. "You want to leave Beth at home? And Erin? And Daddy?"

I explained that it would be a special treat for the two of us. I talked about how much fun it would be to pick out a new backpack. But she was not interested in the least.

"I'm not going without Beth. We'll have to come back home after the backpack shopping and pick up Beth. She loves chocolate ice cream. I'm not eating any without her."

So, I agreed that we could make it a special trip for the three of us.

"No, no", she answered. "I can't go out for ice cream without Erin. She loves vanilla ice cream. It can be her special day, too. And Daddy. He'll want to come and get some ice cream too. Let's all go and have a special day together".

So in the end, that's what we decided to do. It wasn't exactly what we had planned, but somehow I think she recognized our intentions. One thing is certain. We planned the outing in order to remind her just how special she is, but instead, her adorable and unselfish response reminded us that underneath all those temper tantrums, she really is an amazing little girl.