Christmas Eve story

We all had a wonderful Christmas, although the kids are now battling a stomach virus. Unfortunately, this has resulted in a postponement of our holiday celebrations with Dan's family. We will miss them very much this weekend, but look forward to a Christmas celebration very soon, when the kids are finally healthy!

On Christmas eve, Erin and I cuddled up to read some Christmas stories. After a few holiday stories, we ended with one of her favorite books, "Good Night Moon". I read the last two pages softly..."Good Night stars...Good night Air...Good night noises everywhere".

I slowly closed the book, and Erin snuggled even closer.

"I like that book", she told me. "I especially like the way it says good night just to me".

I thought for a minute, and then asked her what she meant.

"At the end", she said. "It says 'Good night stars, Good night Er, Good night noises everywhere'".

We do often call her "Er". I never thought that during all those dozens and dozens of readings, she thought the author was singling her out. I suppose the word "air" is a foreign one to a 2-year-old, so she substituted something more familiar...her name.

Good night, Er. Sleep tight.

Christmas memories

Amy made a Christmas ornament at preschool last week.

On the front of the ornament is her hand print, made with sparkling glitter paint. It's accompanied by a poem about how we should treasure her hand print now, because someday she will be grown. On the back of the ornament is a picture of Amy, taken by her teacher.

She proudly hung the ornament on the tree.

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting on the couch in the family room with Brian, while the girls watched a Christmas movie in the living room. Amy's ornament was hanging in front of me, with her smiling face looking directly at me. I found myself thinking about the ornament.

Someday, maybe 20 years from now, I will take this ornament out of a box as we decorate a Christmas tree. I'll stop and look at the picture of my four-year-old Amy, and I'll remember.

I'll remember what it felt like to pick up my four-year-old girl and cuddle her close. I'll remember what it felt like to brush her long blond curls, and put them into braids or ponytails. I'll remember what it felt like to kiss her chubby four-year-old cheeks, or tickle her and hear her four-year-old laugh.

And I imagine that a part of me will ache for the four-year-old girl that I once knew. I wonder if I will feel pangs of sadness because I will never again be able to pick up my little girl and cuddle her. I'm sure she'll be a wonderful adult by then, but still...

So after I put Brian down in his swing, I went into the living room where Amy was sitting. I picked her up and held her close. I played with her blond curls. I tickled her and enjoyed her giggles.

Because right now, she's still my little four-year-old daughter. And I'm going to enjoy these moments as much as I can.

Quiet times

It's snowing today.

Actually, it's been snowing constantly during this cold December. I would be surprised to look outside the window and see it not snowing.

This weather does make it a bit more difficult to get "out and about" with three little girls and a newborn baby boy, but I still love this season. Once we've managed to get all the wet coats, hats and mittens put away, we almost always sit down to sip hot chocolate together. Beth, Amy and Erin have been enjoying outside "snow play" immensely. And Brian and I are content to snuggle up on the couch and watch the snow fall.

That's what we did this afternoon. While Beth was at school and Erin napped, Amy sat and played with her fisher price nativity set. Brian fell asleep on my shoulder, so I covered him with a blanket and just sat and held him. We sat for over an hour, and I realized that this is one of the many blessings that a new baby bestows.

We're forced to slow down. Without a newborn in the house, I rarely ever just sit back and watch the snowflakes falling. But now, we are all taking the time to enjoy the quiet moments, even though they are all too few and far between. We may be sleep-deprived (and, believe me, we are very, very sleep-deprived), but we're happy.

Very, very happy.

New vocabulary word

BETH: "Amy, your behavior today is UNEXPECTABLE!!!"

My little bundle of love

It's amazing how much can be accomplished using only one hand.

Over the last week, I've come to realize that it is actually possible to wash and dress three little girls with one hand, while Brian hangs from my other arm. It's possible to brush hair, load the dishwasher, and even put away laundry in a similar fashion. In fact, tonight I am discovering that it is even possible to type a blog entry while holding a newborn...although it takes significantly more time to do so.

I know that a baby carrier would be helpful, but I've never been able to fully get the hang of them. Maybe after another week of being one-handed, I'll put more effort into learning to use one.

But for now, Brian is attached to my left arm. And I must admit...I love having him there.

Brian Van Winkle

Brian is awakening from his 100-year sleep...or, at least, from his newborn "sluggish stage". His personality is beginning to emerge a bit, too. He seems to mock us, by saying, "Ha! You think I'm just going to sit here in this bouncy-chair?! No, no, my naive parents. I wish to be held ALL DAY! It's much more cozy than this cold chair".

And at night? He tells us in no uncertain terms..."No, no. I don't plan to sleep in this bed ALL BY MYSELF! I wish to be held in someone's arms throughout the night. So just prepare yourselves for a long couple of sleepless months, because there is NO WAY that I am going to let you put me into that lonely crib".

It's a very, very good thing that he is so cute and cuddly!